Whiskey and Donutholes

A few weeks back we all decided to have a “weird beer” night.  Everyone brought a few beers to Hodge’s and we drank a different beer every 15 minutes.

There’s the line up.  We got through a better part of that pile, using Coors Light as a palate cleanser.  We took turns choosing beers, Will drew the short straw and chose the Lakefront White. 

As you can tell he was quite excited.  We poured it out, at this point there were four of us.

We decided to taste, discuss, and assign the beers a letter grade agreed upon by the entire group.  This white got a D, it was kinda plain, it had the fruitiness, but overall did not impress any of us.  It wasn’t bad, just wasn’t anything to write home to your mom about.  unless it’s Jake’s mom, then use any excuse you can to talk to her.

Next we moved on to Lakefronts Fuel Cafe, what the bottle told us was a java stout.  This beer was more like a porter in its consistency.  It had a good beer/coffee balance with not much aroma.  We gave it a B-, it was good, could have been better.

Don: “I don’t know, what do you think Hodge?”

Hodge: “Looks like beer, but it doesn’t smell like beer.  I guess we’ll have to drink it.”

Will: “Mgph, glua phrr wump MEATBALL!!”

Staying with the Lakefront, the next beer sampled was their Cherry Lager.  This was described as the following:  Like chewing on fruit stripe gum, lame flavor.  And my personal favorite “the ‘tussin is better.” Nobody hated it enough to give it a super low grade, which you couldn’t tell by the comments.  It was assigned a C- and wiped from our memories with a cold Coors Light and some cheese spread.

He’Brew’s Origin beer was the next on our little journey.  This beer should have probably been colder when we tasted it.  It’s a pomegranate brew, which turned out to be pretty good.  It had a fruity aroma and the consensus was that it would be a good dinner beer.  And what may have been the quote of the night: “Jesus, it’s better than I thought it would be.”  B+

Up next, Horny Goat Wheat.  At this point the beer was starting to kick in pretty good.  Our notes only say it had a good aroma, like the Origin, it was thought to be a good beer with food.  And the opinion of the group was “non-fantasitic.”  There was also a nasty comment aimed at Jake, but I won’t repeat it here.  It was the only beer of the night that came in a can and was awarded a solid B.  The pictue of the beer didn’t turn out, so instead I’ll show you this lovely little moment between Jake and Will.

Beer number six, which felt like 600 at this point was my favorite beer of the night.  Being a Hop-Head I love me some IPA.  And Great Divide’s Herculean IPA did not disappoint.  It had a very hoppy aroma and a strong hop flavor.  It was a little overpowering in the flavor department for those who weren’t into hops as much as the rest, but was about as good an IPA as I’ve had in a while.  It was awarded a B-.

Wow, we appear to be about half way through the beers, that sounds like a lot of typing.  And this is also the point where Hodge busted out the Wii big game hunting.  Leading me to not care about photo documentation.  And apparently no one took up the slack.  So here’s the abbreviated rest of the evening.

Lakefront Riverwest Stein Beer-  Aroma was amberish, flavor was unimposing and had a clean finish.  Overall very drinkable, but nothing special.  C+

Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout- Boozy aroma, a little too sweet, not thick enough (which is something John says all the time).  B

Bells Winter Ale- HEHE, too Belgiany, nice.  It was too bitter and had a tinny grossness to it.  C-

Dog Fish Head Midas Touch- The only note for this one was “If hate had a taste.”  I’ve had this one before the tasting and did not like it.  The idea behind it is interesting, but it tastes like grape malt liquor.  this was the lowest graded beer of the night…F+.

Slow Elk Oatmeal- Pleasent aroma, could be sweeter/more malty.  Lacked that oatmeal flavor the group was looking for.  B

Lakefront Klisch Pilsner- I don’t like pilsners, and as drunk as I was at this point I remember having to choke this down while hunting mule deer.  The others liked it more than me, but it was still far from the favorite of the night.  C+

Harvey’s Christmas Ale-  The final beer of the evening, thanks god.  Says here is smelled like a “light scotch”, John said it was “christmasy”.  Very clever.  it was syrupy and had some apple overtones.  C-

It was a great night, thanks to Hodge and Sara for hosting and for the food.  It was a great night and the hangover the next day was incredible.

Apparently it was fruity beer night for me the other night at The Brewhouse.  I was with Rachael, Hodge, and Sarah and decided to try some of the beers I had either never had (Blitzen’s Blueberry Porter), or never even heard of (Gale Force).

I started with the Blitzen’s.  It was a higher alcohol content (doiy), and smelled like the Triple Berry syrup at Perkins.  While the beer tasted fine, it didn’t exactly taste like blueberries either.  The flavor was good, don‘t get me wrong, but not a blueberry flavor as you’d come to expect from a beer named “blueberry porter.”

Hodge added that it had an acidic finish.  I barely noticed it, but it was there.  He also compared it to the Brewhouse’s cherry stout, only not as chocolatey.  Since the last time I had the cherry stout was fucking forever ago–and I got hammered off of it–I couldn’t draw the parallel and was forced to agree haphazardly with Hodge.

Next we moved directly to the Gale Force, which is a cranberry belgian ale.  Again, this one had a higher alcohol percentage, and yet again, I’m unsure what it was.  This one was more of a fruit-tasting beer, however, than the blueberry was.  You could actually taste the cranberry flavor, and the craberry flavor was atually quite good.  Hodge finally quantified the whole beverage by simply stating that it’s your “typical fruit beer.”

We only had one pint of each for the night, and probably a good thing too since I could start to feel it.  Overall, I’d recommend the Gale Force to anyone who enjoys a classic fruit beer, but I’d say skip the Blitzen’s.

FIN

As all 5 of you readers know, I enjoy a good IPA every now and then. Well, actually, more like all the time.

Seeing a couple 750mL bottles of special releases by Boulevard, I decided to get the Double Wide IPA and give it a whirl. Having a fine ale (or lager) served bottle conditioned (refermented in the bottle for extra deliciousness and carbonation) is something I cannot usually pass up… especially when served in 750mL Belgian-style champagne bottles.

Aromatically speaking, a moderate hoppy nose comes through with some slight sweet caramel-like malt aromas as well.

Hop flavors are quite abundant with the bitterness dancing around from first drink to well after the swallow (thats what she said). Malt backbone is not too complex yet still helps to give the beer a nice backbone on which to release a fury of hoppy goodness.

Body is not very big, but does have a slight “chewy” quality… which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, a “Chewie” body is right out.

The deep bronze/dark orangeish hue is mesmerizing… it almost tells me “drink more! drink more!”. Well, ok… that is a lie… any delicious beer tells me to drink more.

What may be telling me to drink more is a delicious Curry Chicken dinner I have prepared this fine evening. The India Pale Ale gets its name from beers that were brewed in Britain and were “over-hopped” to ensure they would stay intact on the long voyage to Britain-occupied India. Since Britain’s normal bitter beers could not last the long sea voyage to India, more hops were added. The Britain’s were probably unaware of the antiseptic and antioxidant qualities of the hops, but now that I think about it… they were probably too drunk to realize that to begin with.

This is why a lot of hoppy beers pair well with spicy foods… like this wonderful chicken curry dish with basmati rice… not because the Brits were too drunk.. but because the spicy bitterness of IPAs and bitter beers play well with the spices of Indian or Thai foods.

Well thats it… you can go home now.

Or at least go to the store and pick up a bottle of the Boulevard Double Wide IPA.

I should be back in a while with the other Smokestack reviews.

For as long as we’ve frequented Norwood golf course in Northern Wisconsin, we’ve played the dice game “Mexican.” The owner taught us how to play it so long ago, it hurts to think about when that was. Since that time, we’ve modified the game to fit our own drinking habits and needs. The resulting game is a little different from the original Mexican, but still just as fun and ridiculously drunk-inducing as always.

Equipment needed:

• Tap beer
• Hard liquor (various)
• One dice cup (usually plastic)
• Two dice
• Can of beer (or a pint) per each player
• A beer glass (6-8oz)
• A working liver

Players:

• 3 or more (to make it interesting)

Grab a chair at the bar or table. Going in a counter-clockwise rotation, start with the person at the 12 o’clock position (or close there of). The first person puts the dice in the cup and shake the dice in the cup, then slams the cup down on the bar, keeping the dice concealed. The person who shakes lifts the cup–covering it with their hands on the sides, if necessary–enough to keep the dice inside only visible to themselves. They examine the dice and look for any of the following scores below, keeping in mind that there is NO PREVIOUS ROLLER in the scoring rules below:

Scoring

• Normal scoring: Take the highest face value die as the first number of a roll. Take the lower face value die as the second number in the roll. For instance, if you roll a “five” and a “six”, the “six” is the first number, and the “five” is the second number for a total number of “65.” Another example: dice showing face values of “three” and “four” is not “34,” but “43″. This later example is where you can benefit from being a sneaky cunt and bullshitting a lot so others get drunk and start calling the smaller score in a drunk stupor. It’s an easy win.
• This scoring applies for everything except doubles, see “Doubles scoring” below .
• Normal scoring can be rolled as “Ties,” see below.
• Normal scoring can never beat a Mexican.
• Normal scoring note 2: the lowest possible normal score is “32,” which is a high face value die of “three” and lower face value die of “two”.
• Normal scoring note 3: the highest possible normal score is “65″, which is a high face value die of “six” and lower face value die of “five.” Doiy.
  
• Doubles scoring: If the roller rolls two of the same die, the number automatically beats any value rolled by the previous roller if the previous roller has rolled a normal score (above). For instance, two face value die with “fives” would be a “55″, which beats a “65.” If the previous roller rolls a “44,” the current roller must either tie (with a “44″) or beat the previous roll with a “55″ or better, including a Mexican.
• Doubles can be rolled as “Ties,” see below.
• Doubles can never beat a Mexican.

Instant win Scoring:

• Social: A “three” on one die and “one” on the other die is called a “social.” The roller of a social lifts the cup, exposing the “three” and “one” dice and calls “SOCIAL!”, in which everyone drinks. The roller then gets to roll again. CAVEAT: If the roller is rolling against someone else’s roll, the roll is not reset; the roller of the social must roll again and still has to beat the previous roller’s score.
• Ties: If the previous roller rolls a score–either a normal score or double–you can tie that score with the exact same score. If the previous roller rolls a “43″ and you then roll the same on your roll, you pass the “43″ onto the next roller to beat. If the previous roller rolls a “55″ and you roll the same, the “55″ gets passed to the next roller in the rotation to be beat.
• Ties note 1: Ties can occur on Mexicans, see below.
  
• Mexican: The holy grail roll. This one separates the men from the boys. The Mexican (or “Mescan” after you lose to a few) is big in this game, like the size Arnold Schwarzenegger in “Kindergarten Cop” big. A Mexican consists of the die face values of “two” and “one” (a “21″ for those keeping track). If you roll a Mexican, you automatically beat anything rolled by the previous roller, EXCEPT for a Mexican.
• If you roll a Mexican against the previous roller’s Mexican, the Mexican is passed on to the next roller in the rotation to beat.

Returning to the scenario, once the rotation is set and the first roller in the 12 o’clock position has rolled and examined his dice, he selects the applicable score from the above Scoring section. The roller than offers the cup to the next roller in the rotation, at the one o’clock position (if you are playing at a table). THE CURRENT ROLLER MUST NOT TOUCH THE CUP AFTER OFFERING THE SCORE TO THE NEXT ROLLER. Only the next roller can accept the score, by either touching the cup themselves, or telling the current roller to pass the cup to them (usually occurs if playing at a bar). TOUCHING THE CUP before the next roller has accepted the score is a grave mistake, and punishable by whatever means the group deems necessary. We’ve punched people in the balls for it. For serious.

Once the next roller–in this scenario, at the one o’clock position–accepts the score and touches the dice cup (or instructs the previous roller to pass it to them), the scoring above is in full effect. Now, the current roller must follow all rules above, including the PREVIOUS ROLLER rules. However, the current roller can also bullshit, below.

Bullshitting

• Bullshitting is when you either roll a score that cannot beat the previous roller’s score, OR the the current roller consciously choices to attempt to make the next roller in the rotation drink.
• Bullshitting involves lying about your score; either by faking a higher normal score than the previous roller, bullshitting doubles over a normal score or a previous double, or–if you are really ballsy–bullshitting a Mexican to someone.
• Bullshitting is risky business…see Penalties below. Bullshit cautiously, because if you are caught on a bullshit roll, you get penalized.
• For the person who is being rolled to, just saying “bullshit!” to the current roller is an acknowledgment that you don‘t believe their score. Calling bullshit is like herpes, it can’t be undone.
• For example, if the previous roller that rolled to you had a “55″, and you roll a “43,” you can bullshit a “55″ (for a tie), or a “66″ to the next roller in the rotation that you are rolling to. The next roller can either choose to accept the “55″ or “66″ and attempt to tie or beat it, or can call “bullshit.” If the person you are rolling to accepts the score you just bullshitted, you are free and clear. However, if the person you are rolling to does not accept the score and calls “bullshit,” you are fucked and are penalized according to what score you bullshitted using the Penalties chart below.

Penalties

• Penalties occur when someone is caught bullshitting (most common), or someone loses a roll. Losing a roll is weak and pathetic and should never occur, so don’t even fucking bother with it. However…
• Losing a roll penalty: if you must admit that you lost a roll because you lack a spin, you simply take a drink for losing a roll. For examples, if someone rolls to you a “54″ and you roll a “43″, and admit defeat on your roll (instead of attempting to bullshit a higher score to the next roller in the rotation), you simply take a drink of your beer. Easy enough, but why not go for the glory, pussy?
• Bullshitting a NORMAL score penalty: take a drink of your beer. It’s that easy. So if the person rolling to you rolls a “53″ and you roll a “32″ but bullshit a “65″ to the next person, and are caught bullshitting the “65,” you simply drink some beer. Easy enough. The danger zone is when…
• Bullshitting a DOUBLE penalty: If you are caught bullshitting a double to the next roller in the rotation, you do a shot for bullshitting on a double. For instance, if the person rolling to you rolls a “55″, and you get a “32″, but bullshit a “66″ to the next person in the rotation, and you are busted by them, you do a shot of liquor of your choosing (a saving grace).
• Bullshitting a MEXICAN penalty: Danger! Bullshitting a Mexican can get ugly real quick-like. Normally, bullshitting a Mexican is only done when you are rolled a Mexican to by the previous roller, but there are some of us among us who are ballsy enough to bullshit a Mexican when the previous roller just rolls a normal score. These people are the ones who have it in their head that they can win if they get everyone drunk before themselves. Rarely, this technique works, but it does make the game interesting.
• When you bullshit a Mexican and are caught, you must chug beer from the 6-8oz community glass (listed in the equipment list, above). There is no sipping. Chug it up, sport.
• When a penalty above is assigned, the score from that roller who was penalized is reset, and the next roller in the rotation has a clean slate, meaning they can roll a Normal, double, or Mexican score from above.
• Cock die penalty: When someone rolls a cock die (a dice that gets away from the person, or is exposed to either the next roller or the group), the current roller who rolled the cock die must take a drink of beer. The current roller then gets to roll again, still attempting to beat the score that they were rolled to.

The game continues going from person to person in a counter-clockwise rotation, with scores having to consistently beat the previous person’s score until a penalty is assigned and the score is reset. Continue the rotation until everyone passes out.

Let’s do an example.

In this examples, we’ll have Will (12 o’clock position), Hodge (one o’clock position), Richard (two o’clock position), and the fucking unbelievably luck Jim (three o’clock position). We each have a can of Coors Light, a wide selection of hard liquor, and 6oz of tap beer pre-poured in the community glass.

Round 1:

1. Hodge starts the game.  He rolls, hiding his dice from Will, and claims to roll a “54.”
2. Will accepts the score and takes the dice cup from Hodge.  Will rolls, hiding his dice from Richard, and claims to have rolled a “65.”  Richard accepts the score by taking the dice cup from Will.
3. Richard rolls a “43″, and notices that obviously this does not beat Will’s “65.”  Richard decides to bullshit because he has balls, and tells Jim that he has rolled “snake eyes” (two “ones” on the face of the die).
4. Jim examines Richard with a curious eye and decides Richard is bullshitting (which he is).  Jim lifts the cup and exposes the “43″ Richard has rolled.  Richard has lost, and must be penalized.
5. Since Richard has bullshitted two “ones,” which is a double, Richard has to take a shot.  Richard does Jagermeister because, again, he has balls.
6. Once Richard finishes his shot and stops crying, Jim rolls.  Jim doesn’t have to beat Richard’s score, because Richard lost and was penalized.

Round 2:

1. Jim takes his roll and claims a Mexican (again, die face values of “one” and “two”).  Will eyes Jim nervously, knowing that Jim probably does have Mexican in his cup because Jim is a lucky fucker.
2. Will accepts Jim’s score of a Mexican and takes the dice cup from Jim.
3. Will rolls, and tells Hodge he has rolled a Mexican as well (making this the rare two-in-a-row Mexican).  Hodge simply cannot accept that this phenomenon can occur, and calls bullshit.
4. Will lifts the dice cup and exposes a “two” and “one.”  A Mexican!  Hodge has been proven wrong for his bullshit and must now chug the community beer (called the “Mexican beer”).  Hodge slams the beer, and can now roll to Richard.
5. Hodge shakes off the impending drunk and rolls a “53″ to Richard.  Richard accepts the score.
6. Richard rolls a “65″ to Jim.  Jim doesn’t believe Richard’s score, and calls bullshit.  Richard lifts the dice cup exposing a “six” and a “five”, proving he is not a fucking liar.  Jim takes a swig of his Coors and takes the dice, with an “open roll” (that is, nothing to beat from the previous roller) to Will.
7. The game continues.

Any questions, concerns, or additions to these rules should be submitted to the Midwestern Commission on the Mexican Drinking Game (MCMDG) using the comment form below.

Thanks, and play safe.  Designate a driver.  For realsies, ’cause you’ll get f’ed up.

Calculus II final is OVER!  Not as brutal as I thought it would be… but if the stars align… I -may- get a B.

So to relax my soul and take the edge out a bit… I am imbibing a fine ale.  To be specific… Great Divides Oak Aged Yeti.  The beers base style is an Imperial Stout… so this should be an asskicker.

Nose is quite oaky with hints of roast and complex malt flavors… and, of course, alcohol.

Body is chewy and sticky (much like yo momma).  The flavor, on the other hand, is divine.  Big complex dark malts play with just the perfect amount of hop bitterness to give a nice balance.  Alcohol hides in the background and throws the ball back into the playground every now and then… but not too much.  It warms with the swallow (ask your mother about that one)… something that would be very nice on a cold winters day.

All-in-all… it lives up to its name.  After a couple of these it will feel like a Yeti punched you in the gut and shoved you in a oak barrel for a while.  This beer is exactly how I like my women… thick and black with some zazz.  A very fine ale that I highly suggest everyone checking out this beer… especially after a brutal final.

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